When I was kid, growing up in a small town, I would sit on my roof and watch the sunset and listen to the train pass through the town. The town I lived in was a town that most people only knew because they had stayed there one night on their way from one place to another. I was so jealous of them. I had this strange jealousy come over me every time my older sister and her family would leave after coming for Christmas. I felt stuck. I was a tad dramatic,yes...but to be fair, I was 10-11 years old. My friend and I would always play "Work." Our favorite career choice was secret agents. We had boyfriends who we were always trying to balance with work, but work always won. I was Agent Cobra, in case you wanted to know. The reason I'm telling you this is because I had BIG dreams. I wanted to move to a big, big city and work in an office and live a fast lifestyle. Okay, those aren't that big of dreams, but I digress. As I grew up, those dreams simmered down a little bit, as they often do when we grow up. Of course, I wanted to be a mother, but I'd be lying if I said it was at the forefront of my mind when it came to aspirations.
Skip to today, the dilemma I face is that I want to have kids and raise my kids, but I also don't want to give up working. I want to work but I definitely don't want a nanny there 24-7 raising my kids Whether it's right or not, there is a lot of pressure on women in the circles I run in to have kids and be stay a home mom. It's just kind of expected. The problem is, when you grow up just like everyone else and you go to school imagining how everything you learn will help you in your future career and dream job, it's not so easy to give that stuff up...and I know it sounds selfish, but I'm not willing to. To be honest, it always weirded me out when I met mothers who didn't have any time for themselves and they just gave up EVERYTHING for their children. I know I'm not a parent, so..you know, burn me at the stake here, but...that seems over the top to me. I don't think it's human nature to be that selfless. It sounds cynical, and maybe it is, but there has to be SOMETHING that is yours and yours alone or it won't last. You will burn out and be angry and resentful, at least I know I would. So what is the balance? Can you raise kids and still have a career (outside the home - because let's be real...)? Can you have kids and still find time to do hobbies that you love? I think so, I just don't know how it would work. But, WHEN I have kids and somehow figure it out, I will post about it and share with my other non-parent friends who are also scared of jumping into the world of parenthood because they are afraid of losing themselves. So, to the already-parents who both work, how do you do it? I want to hear some success stories.
