It's been a while. I wanted to talk about something that really affected me when I was 18. Back then I was living with my friend, working, and doing fun things. But at some point, well, when someone suggested it to me, I realized that I was feeling detached. Not necessarily from other people, but from myself. I remember what it felt like. It felt like when my head wanted to do something, it didn't consult my body or my heart, and when my heart wanted to do something, it didn't consult with the other two. I found myself not really tied to anything. I didn't quite know what I wanted in life, how to get anywhere in life, and I was just floating around going from thing to thing. I remember that things would happen to me that should've upset me or made me really happy but my emotions only went so deep. I didn't feel complete joy or complete pain. It was like one of those pictures that can be two things. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. And once I saw it, I tried to figure out how I got there. I wasn't like that in High School, I had never really been like that before. So, after some soul searching and some time away from my everyday life, I figured it out. And I wanted to finally share my tips for avoiding becoming detached from yourself. If you've experienced this and have any more to add, please comment below.
1. Figure Out What Is Important To You
This may sound easy, but to someone who has been living on the surface for so long, it can be hard to dive deep into what really grounds you. What are your morals? What are your boundaries? Who and what in the world is most important to you? What do you believe your purpose is? Scary questions, yes, but what's even scarier is not having the answers. Once you take control of what you believe, who you are, and where you're going, you'll feel so much more free and less terrified. Because even if your conscious doesn't feel terrified, your subconscious is a frightened child balled up in the corner, and your subconscious will still affect your conscious mind.
2. Make Yourself Have Intentional Thoughts
I noticed that my thoughts were fleeting and were only about things that were happening right then. And a lot of the times I wasn't even aware that I was thinking. Now, there's a balance, because you don't want to always be in your head and not be in the present moment. But you also want to be able to process what's happening in the moment and actually think about what you're saying and what you're doing before you say/do it. The more you make yourself think about things, the more you connect your mind with your body and they eventually become congruent. So when I talked about doing things without really thinking them through or really consulting myself about it, this helps with that.
3. Hold Yourself Accountable
HUGE. A lot of times when you're feeling detached, it's easy to intentionally or unintentionally let yourself off the hook for things. For example, feeling bad about something you said that you shouldn't have said, or feeling bad about treating someone badly. That part is important because it helps you to develop a trust within yourself that if you screw up, you'll kick yourself in the butt and not do it again. It's one thing to have other people scold you when you've done something wrong, but when it's you keeping yourself in check, you're connecting your mind, body, heart, and any other piece that seems disconnected.
4. Make Yourself Get Excited About Things!
Find things to get excited about. Plan, dream, wish, anything that requires some thinking and some passion, do it! This will help you to enjoy the good things in life! It goes both ways, feeling detached keeps you from feeling pain but it also keeps you from feeling excitement and joy. Plan a vacation or a mini vacation and just soak it all in.
5. Think Of What You're Thankful For
This helps to humble you and really make you think about what and who you're lucky to have in your life. This will help you to see the good in everything and encourages your mind to actively think of happy things. It also makes you really evaluate your life and your priorities. Evaluation is one of the biggest helps when it comes to feeling connected. It's all about deciding to try and trying to change. Detachment can lead to apathy, and that is far more lonely road.
To end on a high note, it doesn't have to take long! Again, once you see it, you can't unsee it. So when you see it, you have to decide that you want to change in order to change, it won't happen for you. It changed for me in a matter of months, and I honestly have to really think about it to remember how it was back then because it's so foreign to me now. I got through it and started living life, not making it by, not surviving, but actually living. Intentionally.
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